


To call for hands of above (to lean on)

by starsinoureyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Character, M/M, Veterinary Clinic, catnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsinoureyes/pseuds/starsinoureyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry finds a cat. She likes him and he likes her. Then he takes her to the vet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Inspired by this prompt: [x ](http://justmefeelingtherain.tumblr.com/post/140081556118/cravelouis-au-where-harry-is-a-tired-student)

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first time Harry sees the cat on his window he just finished his Great British Bake-Off marathon. It was only just after ten in the evening but he has been feeling sluggish and tired all day, and was looking forward to an early night. He also had an early seminar in the morning so he could use some extra hours of sleep.

He brushed his teeth, put on his softest pyjama bottoms and was in the middle of preparing a cup of tea when a shadow jumped behind the window in his living room. He almost dropped his empty mug on the wooden floor.

“Jesus. What was that?” He put the mug on the coffee table to prevent any smashing. It was his favourite, dammit. He walked closer to the window and peeked behind the curtains.

He met a pair of glowing golden eyes in the dark. The creature was dimly illuminated by street lights and Harry realised that it was a cat. An ordinary small white and brown cat. She was blinking slowly at Harry and it seemed as if she was comforted by Harry’s presence.

She was so pretty and cute, and Harry wondered if she was one of his neighbour’s cat or a stray. He didn’t notice a collar on her but she looked perfectly taken care of.

“Hiii!” he said to her and hurried back to his kitchen to take the boiling kettle off the stove. He made his tea quickly and then rummaged through his fridge for some leftovers. Thankfully, he went grocery shopping the day before and his fridge was well-stocked. Or as good as a fridge could be on a student budget.

He opened a plastic wrapper with two pieces of turkey breast and took it out to defrost overnight. He could go for homemade tortillas or deep fried meat for lunch tomorrow. Then he opened a can of tuna, put it on a small plate and went back to the cat.

He opened the window a bit and put the plate on his window sill. “Here you go, babe. Fresh from my fridge.” He smiled at her when she sniffed at the meat. “It’s a fish meat. You might like it.”

The cat moved a bit closer and happily started to eat. Harry’s smile grew bigger and then he closed the window. “Goodnight. Go back to your home.”

She looked up at him and licked her mouth clean. Harry took it as a yes.

He fell asleep with a smile.

 

==

 

There are a lot of things Harry believes in.

He believes in simple things and also complicated things. He believes that you should always be nice to people and they'll be nice to you back. He also believes in Karma and God. He believes in soulmates and love. He believes that finding a four clover leaf will bring you luck and that smashing a mirror will bring you seven years of bad luck. He believes that the universe expands infinitely and that there are other forms of life waiting to contact humans.

He believes everything happens for a reason and that a good outfit can improve a bad day.

He believes that there’s a solution to every problem.

And that might be why he’s feeling the way he is right now.

He’s having trouble concentrating for his next exam in University and he really wants to ace it ( _hah_ Niall would love his puns). It’s not really an important exam but Harry likes to be excellent at everything that he does. So nothing below an A is acceptable.

If only he could calm his nerves and concentrate.

He’s only been at it for three hours but he couldn’t remember a single thing he read. After reading for the third time the date of birth and start of Carlo Maderno’s career as an architect, he heard a soft meow and scratching at his living room window. He dismissed it and fixed his eyes on the underlined lines.

 

_Maderno began his architectural career in Rome assisting his uncle **[Domenico Fontana](http://www.britannica.com/biography/Domenico-Fontana)**. His first major Roman commission, **the[facade](http://www.britannica.com/technology/facade-architecture) of Santa Susanna ** (1597–1603), led to his appointment in 1603 as **the chief architect for[Saint Peter’s](http://www.britannica.com/topic/Saint-Peters-Basilica)**. He..._

 

The meowing and scratching got louder the quicker he paced across the living room. He grunted and threw his notes on the sofa. Whoever the intruder was was obviously keen on messing with Harry’s concentration and consequently failing his exam.

He pushed the curtain back, a bit violently than intended, and he was face to face with the white and brown speckled cat from few weeks ago. His foul mood was gone as soon as he laid his eyes on her. She was watching him with her glowing golden eyes and he swore she was smiling at him. In her cat way. She head-butted the glass of the window and then softly pawed at it with the soft pads of her small paw.

Harry’s heart melted. He quickly opened his window and let her inside. She jumped off the sill on his ugly dark red carpet and looked around. Harry let her smell his hand before petting her on the head and then he went to his fridge to see if there was something he could give to her. She followed him obediently and sat next to his feet as he rummaged through his leftovers shelf.

He hoped that Niall didn’t ate all of the meatloaf or the meatballs from the spaghetti they had two days ago. He exclaimed happily when he saw that the meatballs were still intact in their plastic container.

He took a good look at it and then turned to the cat. “I just might heat it up for you. It’s no good this cold.” The cat merely blinked at him in agreement. He scratched behind her ears and put the food in the microwave.

The cat nuzzled against his calf as he tapped on his counter, waiting for the beep.

“Do you have a name?” he asked her, but she didn’t answer apart from head-butting him and then proceeding to clean her face. “You must have a name.” he mused and took a good look at her. She was almost completely white apart from brownish speckles on her body and brown head. She was an ordinary tabby, as far as he knew about cat breeds.

“I’ll call you Freckles.”

 

Him and Freckles seemed to get on. She spent the entire day with Harry, after eating her meal. She sat next to him while he studied and when he went to prepare his dinner, she sat on the counter and watched his movements with fascination. She had an odd calming effect on him and he had never met such nice and peaceful cat.

Even his mum’s cat, Dusty, seemed to be a right menace from time to time. Peeing in the flower pots, leaving dead animals in the back garden, whatever you expected from a domesticated cat. But this one.

This one was different and Harry felt he met his soulmate in another being. It was a slightly ridiculous thought to have about a cat nonetheless. But he felt that Freckles and him became fast friends.

But at the end of the day, after some begging from the cat, he had to open his window and let her go home.

 

==

 

The next time he sees the cat, he was stressing from his exams again, and the abundance of responsibilities he piled on himself in mere two weeks. He started volunteering at the local library, he signed up for two seminars accidentally which he had to present in front of the class one after another on the same day in just a week, and not to mention do extensive research for both. He also had midterm exams in his Art History classes ( _why did he think a degree in Art History was a good idea?!_ ) and he was currently reading his notes.

His head felt like a whirlwind of dark clouds and he had been experiencing chest pains randomly for the last few days. He knew he had no one else to blame for his misfortune but himself, but he couldn’t help but plea for some higher being to take him out of his misery.

But then – as a clichéd sign from above – he heard the familiar meowing and scratching. He rushed toward his window and beamed when he saw the familiar brown head and golden eyes peering at him.

“Freckles! You came back!”

Harry noticed that her white coat was smudged with grease and dirt and he imagined she was hungry, probably wandering on the streets since the last time he saw her. He quickly let her inside and get her something to eat.

He could feel her golden eyes looking at him knowingly when he opened his fridge and few cans of tuna fell out of it. Harry had been stashing cat friendly canned food in his fridge ever since he let her out of his apartment last time. He was hoping he’d see her again. She was his calming charm and he was so happy to see her in his time of need.

“Don’t judge me, okay? I just want you to be healthy and well-fed.” He told her and didn’t mention how he hid a water bowl under his bed after he impulse bought it a week ago.

Freckles didn’t say anything but leaned her head on Harry’s thigh and blinked sleepily at him. He stroked her back and then put a small portion of food on a plate before setting it down next to his table. He scooped Freckles in his arms and headed for the living room.

He continued to revise for his exams and Freckles dozed next to him. She didn’t leave him that night.

 

==

 

Freckles didn’t leave for a long time after that.

Harry was thrilled. He slowly adapted to having another being in the house, depending on him. He bought her everything she needed from plastic mouse toys to a scratcher (his poor sofa couldn’t take any more hits) and a sleeping pillow. She proved to be a nice distraction though, all through Harry’s worst exams and the bloody seminars, he was solely focused on her and her needs when he wasn’t revising and making notes.

Harry was seriously reconsidering naming her Angel.

Of course, it wasn’t all smooth sailing. Two days after she took a permanent residence in Harry’s apartment, Harry decided to give her a good scrub – to clean her from the street grime – so he cleaned her with a wet towel. She was mad at him for that for the entire day, wouldn’t even come near him when he called her for dinner.

But after Harry settled down for his bedtime reading, she poked her head through the doorway and leaped in his lap for cuddles. As if nothing happened.

Cats were strange.

Harry simply smiled and stroked her shiny white coat while she purred. He absentmindedly thought that it was a stroke of good luck when Freckles came to his window. A blessing.

 

When Freckles met Niall, her patience had grown really thick. Niall loved animals but he just didn’t know how to handle them. He pulled roughly on them, pinched their cheeks because he couldn’t contain his excitement about their cuteness and he insisted to carry smaller animals in his arms (the wrong way) all day.

Niall was mesmerised by her calm nature and probably thought it was alright for him to demand attention from her any chance he got. Even Harry was little annoyed.

They were playing Scrabble while a Premier League match was playing on the telly. Niall brought a big bag of popcorns and crisps, and the devoured half during the first half-time of the game. It slowly started to smell like a frat boy flat and Harry lit up few of his candles. Just so Niall’s toxic odours don’t kill Freckles.

“Have you wondered if the cat had an owner before?” Niall asked after placing a T on the board, spelling TWAT. Harry rolled his eyes and added his points on a notepad. He shrugged.

“I did. But I didn’t see any posters or facebook groups about her. And she was gone for like two weeks before I saw her for the second time, so… Maybe she ran away. Or her owner died and she got hungry.”

“Woooo, what if she killed her last owner? She’s too docile and calm, mate. She might be a cat-assassin! And when you least think of it, she might get you in your sleep.” Niall said and shouted at the screen behind Harry when the opposing team scored the first goal.

Harry looked at Freckles who was lying on the middle of his living room, her white coat contrasting against the dark red carpet. She was grooming herself lazily and blinked several times in Harry’s direction. She sent him one of her cat smiles again.

 _Nah_ , Harry thought, _she likes me too much to kill me_. _I hope_.

 

“You’d tell me, wouldn’t you?” Harry asked, lying face to face with Freckles and scratched under her chin. She closed her eyes ad stretched out her front paw in pleasure. “You’d at least show me you have an owner and I didn’t accidentally cat-nap you?”

Freckles opened her eyes when he stopped scratching and head-butted him affectionately. 

“Okay. I believe you.”

 

==

 

Slowly, Harry got his life on track again. He was stressing less about his courses, he (thankfully) didn’t sign up for any more bloody seminars and his volunteer hours at the library got less hectic now as everyone was done with their midterms. It got quiet all around campus.

But just as he was putting back the rest of the books on their shelves for that day, he had a sudden epiphany.

“Shit.” He squealed when he dropped the books he was carrying and then fell to his knees to collect them.

How didn’t he think of that earlier? He was so caught up with his work and studies; he completely forgot to take Freckles to the vet to see if she’s okay. He was such an irresponsible cat owner. He slapped one of the bigger books against his forehead.

 

When he got home, the first thing he did was check online for any local vet ambulances. Surprisingly, one of them was very close. Just a short walk down the Main Street.

As he didn’t have any cat carriers, he hoped Freckles will behave enough if he carried her in his arms. He was afraid an odd car horn or a screeching of the tires might spook her and she might run away.

He wasn’t ready to part from her. Not so soon.

He tried to think logically and practically. He trusted Freckles, but that didn’t mean he was completely convinced someone or she even might do something to cause an accident. He cursed himself for not buying that awful cat leash Niall suggested, but Harry dubbed it ‘unnatural, torture contraption for free animals’. He could really use that torture contraption right now.

He called for Freckles who was eyeing him from her spot on her pillow in the kitchen. She must have sensed his intentions.

“Alright, darling.” He said in his sweetest voice. “We’re going for a walk today. Y’know. To get some fresh air, stretch our legs?”

Freckles simply stared at him as if he were mad. Harry’s face fell.

“You’re not buying it, are you?”

Freckles blinked.

Harry sighed. Alright. He went to pick his jacket and kept an eye on freckles if she decided for a last minute escape. She kept staring at him. It was a little unnerving.

He put his jacket on and left it halfway zipped up. Then he nonchalantly strolled towards Freckles’ pillow and pet her on the head.

“Who’s a good girl?” He said and Freckles narrowed her eyes. He decided it was now or never and picked her up gently before tucking her in his jacket and zipping it up so her head was poking out.

“Nice and cozy, innit?” He told her and she just outstretched her paw and scratched his collar bone with her claw. “Ouch.”

He swore Freckles smiled smugly in her cat way and then he picked up his wallet and they were out.

The walk wasn’t too stressing. Every once in a while, Freckles will try to turn around and look at her surroundings in Harry’s arms, but Harry had to keep her still. People were looking curiously at him; some even smiled when they saw the cat’s head sticking out and licking the side of his neck. It tickled, but Harry was certain it was one of her methods to wriggle out of his grasp.

He hurried down the road until he saw the sign for the vet ambulance. He took a deep calming breath before walking in, thankful nothing bad happened up until that point. Freckles was probably resigned with her fate and she simply stared out over his shoulder and clinged to him.

“It’s going to be alright, darling.” Harry calmed her down. “They were just going to look at you for a bit and we can go home. I’ll give you one of those special treats, yeah?” But that didn’t seem to calm Freckles at all.

Harry sighed and went inside. There were only two people waiting. One a middle aged man with receding hair, holding onto the leash of his bulldog who had few scratches on his nose, and the other a curly blonde woman in her forties, patting on the head of her chihuahua. There was a man shuffling with papers behind a desk. Harry approached him.

“Hiii. Freckles here needs a check-up.” Harry said cheerfully and unzipped his jacket a bit to reveal the cat. The man looked up from his papers and his eyes zeroed in on the cat and then he glared at Harry.

Harry was slightly worried. He had never seen someone obviously disapproving of him at sight and he wondered what he did wrong. Did he have to call in first? Maybe one look at Freckles revealed she wasn’t doing well and the man was pissed at Harry for no taking proper care of her. He should’ve come sooner to the vet.

“Actually, that’s Penelope and I’m sure she would very much like to come home.” The man said sharply and Harry was stunned.

What?

The man pointed at something behind him before reaching for the cat half tucked in Harry’s jacket. Freckles leaped from Harry’s hold onto the top of the desk and nuzzled the receptionist’s hand as if she’d known him her whole life. Harry looked behind the man at the bulletin board filled with animal pictures, Lost pet posters and Adoption posters. Then he saw one large Lost pet poster with Freckles’ picture on it. It was undoubtedly her, with her brown head and white body with few brown speckles, sitting on a window sill of some unfamiliar apartment.

“Were you scared, love?” Harry heard the man talk to Freckles. “Was this gangly old man nice to you?”

“Heeey.” Harry protested. “She was doing great, actually! She ate and slept and did her cat business without problem. I took good care of her.”

The man looked up from the cat who was trying to snuggle up to his arms. He looked less angry and more grateful. “Well, thank you. I’ve been putting up posters around the block for two weeks solid. I was afraid I might never see her again.”

Harry blinked. “Oh, she’s yours?”

The man nodded and picked up the cat, hugging her to his chest. “Yeah. She was with me since she was a kitten. Didn’t you, babe? And then one day she obviously decided that my apartment wasn’t exciting anymore and left me.”

“How long ago was it?” Harry asked, looking at the satisfied look on Freckles- Penelope’s, damn – face as the man stroked her back. She seemed so at ease with him. But then again, she was just that friendly and docile cat. Harry didn’t realise how much he’d fallen in love with her. He saw how much Louis loved her too and he felt guilty for not noticing any posters all this time.

“Uh, two and a half weeks ago. Maybe three.”

Harry nodded in understanding. That was the same time he saw Penelope for the second time when he let her inside and then she stayed.

“Thank you for bringing her back.” The man said. “I didn’t catch your name, mate.”

“It’s Harry.” He said and the man outstretched his hand. Harry shook it.

“Louis.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Louis smiled. “Nice to meet you, too. I’m glad it was you who found her and not some maniac who might stick firecrackers in her bum.”

“No! I would never!” Harry was appalled. “Do people really do that?”

Louis nodded sadly. “It happens with the strays a lot. Then a group of vandals find them and do all kind of nasty stuff. Stick to the desk in a  vet ambulance long enough and you see all kind of brutality.” He saw Harry’s horrified expression and then freaked out himself. “Not that we don’t see loving pet owners too. We do, a lot of them. Some might be a bit overprotective, but better to see that than some malnourished half-beaten to death dog.”

Harry was sick to his stomach. He looked at Penelope and was so glad she came to his window, that she deemed him a nice enough of a person to decide she wanted to live with him for a short while before she decided to return to Louis.

“I’ve gone and destroyed your faith in humanity, haven’t I?” Louis asked, smiling bit. He put Penelope down on the desk.

Harry shook his head. “No, no. I was just thinking why would Freckles- I mean, Penelope- why would she want to leave you? You seem like you like her very much and you’re nice.”

Louis blushed and scratched Penelope behind her ear. “I don’t know. She might’ve wanted to find a mate. She’s certainly old and mature enough. And I forgot to get her spayed.”

“So you might get babies?” Harry asked excitedly. He _loved_ kittens. He started to imagine if one of them turned out to be an exact replica of Penelope, and taking one from Louis when they get old enough. Now that he got used to a cat in the house, he couldn’t picture himself being without one.

“I don’t think so. I hope not. I don’t know how I will handle a whole litter crawling and playing around my apartment.” Louis said. Harry pouted.

“I might come and help.” He offered. “Y’know, with the babies. And I sort of want to see Penelope again.”

Louis’ eyes glinted and he smiled widely. “Ahhh, I recognise that look. She got under your skin, already?” then he turned to the cat and looked her in the eyes. “It’s not the other tomcats you’ve been charming, huh? Cute boys are more up your league, missy.”

Harry blushed. Was that a compliment or? Maybe it was flirting? Did that sound like flirting? Maybe it was Louis just being nice.

“She- she was really nice.” Harry stammered. “She helped me out with my studies. I was really stressed out and she was just there…to calm me and stuff.”

Louis nodded. “It’s one of her secrets. I’m not sure how she does it, but she’s a life-saviour when it comes to that.” Then he smirked at Harry and covered Penelope’s ears. “Don’t tell her, but that’s the only reason I keep her around.”

Harry giggled. “I won’t.”

The conversation drew to a halt and they didn’t say anything but pet Penelope for few moments. The people in the waiting room slowly finished with the vet and then Harry was called in.

“Well, I guess you’re free now. I’ll go take her inside and you don’t have to worry about Penelope leaving hair all around your furniture anymore.” Louis said and picked the cat up. Harry hesitated.

“I just… can I stay? I want to make sure she’s all right before we…before I say goodbye.”

Louis stood at the doorway. “Yeah, sure. Come on in.” Harry followed him quickly.

 

Luckily, there was nothing wrong with Penelope and to Louis’ relief she wasn’t pregnant. Louis set up an operation to get her spayed with Dr. Malckin before he headed back behind his desk. He put Penelope in one of the cages in the back room where animals were kept overnight. Harry waved pitifully at her and kissed her forehead before following Louis.

Louis turned to Harry before he left. “Uhm…You know, you can come visit whenever you like. I live a block away from the ambulance and…Penelope seems to like you too.”

Harry beamed. “Yeah. But, I don’t want to impose. Like if you need to study or you have someone else in the apartment…”

Louis dismissed him with a wave of the hand. “Nah. It’ll be fine. I live with a roommate, Liam, but he’s training for a marathon so he’s hardly at home. And I’m sure I failed the few exams I had while Penelope was missing so that’s kind of shit, but what can you do?”

Harry nodded. “If you’re sure.”

Louis smiled. “I’m sure.”

Harry bit his lip. “Thank you. If she ever wants to leave you again, you know where to find her.”

Louis’ eyebrows pinched. “True. But I don’t have your number in case she gets lost again, so…”

Oh. It was probably silly of Harry not to give him his number in case he might want to see Penelope. Louis was right. Harry quickly pulled out his phone and they swapped them, typing their respective numbers into the devices.

Harry thanked him once again and then headed for the exit. Before he even touched the doorknob, Louis called after him. He turned to see Louis playing with some stationery at the desk.

“I was wondering if maybe…if you’d like of course…uhm…to hang out even without Penelope around?”

Harry was a bit confused. Wasn’t the point of him going to Louis’ so all three hang out together? For Harry to play with Penelope? Or maybe…

Oh.

“Uhm…sure. I’d like that.” he answered and Louis nodded happily.

“Good, good. I- it’s cool.” Louis said, then smoothed out his flustered behaviour, into a cool and casual Louis.

“See you soon, Louis.”

“Yeah, see you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt so connected to the story that I had to write something more. I told myself I will not have angsty parts and sexuality crisis but here we go.  
> I'm living vicariously through Penelope the cat, so if I get sad or inspired there might be more bits. But hopefully not, as I have other projects that desperately need my attention. Like Penelope needs Louis and Harry.  
> :)

“So… how’s Louis?” Niall asked innocently over his bowl of stew.

  
They were having a quiet lad’s night. If you can call it that. Every so often when they felt the pressure of the outside world bearing on their shoulders too much (mostly Harry felt it, Niall was too carefree for that), they would retreat to either of their apartments and Harry will cook something while Niall will decide whether they will talk or do something to occupy themselves. Usually it was talking or watching Terminator movies.

  
Tonight, apparently, Niall was in the mood to talk. About Louis.

  
“What?” Harry was confused. How did Niall know about Louis? Harry only mentioned him exactly once to Niall, few days after he said goodbye to Penelope. And maybe mentioned they exchanged numbers but that was only practical because Harry had summer semester coming up and he really needed to see Penelope at least once. Niall hadn’t made fuss about it so Harry thought he was in the clear, but obviously the bastard was saving it for the right moment.

  
“Why do you say that?” Harry looked down at his stew and played with the vegetables. “He’s fine, I guess. Why do you ask?”

  
Niall was smirking over his spoonful. “No reason.” The grin intensified. “He called like two times when you were in the toilet and I answered-“

  
“Niall!”

  
“But then you got like two-three more messages since we sat down, so… How’s Louis?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Or should I say Doctor Louis since that’s what’s saved in your phone.”

  
Harry glared at him for a moment. But then he sighed and poked a carrot in his stew with the spoon. “We just text and talk if that’s what you’re after. It’s nothing, Niall. We’re friends. If it weren’t for Penelope I don’t think we’d even talk.”

  
Niall leaned closer in interest. His eyes were sympathetic. “Really?”

  
Harry nodded and finished his stew in few spoonfuls. It was only a half-lie. If it weren’t for Penelope they probably would never met. But Louis turned out to be really funny and nice. And they had so much in common, they hardly needed Penelope as a conversation filler. Harry secretly used her as an excuse to see Louis in person few times they managed to find time. Of course he adored the cat and she was their baby, but hanging out alone with Louis might be even more fun.

  
But even a month later, they still didn’t do it.

  
“Is he that boring?” Niall asked further, watching as Harry stood up and carried his bowl over to the sink.

  
“No!” Harry protested. “He’s funny and a bit silly, but really nice.”

  
“Hmmm.” Niall looked like the proverbial cat that got the canary.

  
Harry rolled his eyes. “What?”

  
Niall’s face softened. “Does he know you’re ace? Are you scared of that so you haven’t made a move?”

  
“No.” Harry shook his head and leaned back against the counter. “Why would he need to know that, we’re just friends and it’s not like I’m even trying to date him or-“

  
“But you said he was nice and…”

  
“I don’t have to jump into a relationship because for the first time in forever I come across a nice guy. Seriously, Niall, have my back for once.”

  
“I do have your back!” Niall asked, affronted at the prospect. “We’re mates! Harry and Niall, Niall and Harry. Bros for life!” He jumped out of his seat and then hugged the life out of Harry. “I just want you to go on dates, see what’s out there. I’ll kick the shit our of anyone who tries to hurt you, but I also have a say if I think someone is good.”

  
Niall stepped back and Harry frowned. “You know it’s hard with…”

  
Niall nodded. “Yeah, I know. Or I try to, at least. But it doesn’t mean you can’t try.”

  
Harry turned to pick Niall’s empty bowl and brought it to the sink. “Yeah. I mean, I guess you’re right. I’ve been itching for a relationship for a while now…” He pulled at his bottom lip absentmindedly. “But I don’t want to scare anyone off with…with who I am. For now I just need a friend. For now I just want to be Louis’ friend. He- he’s great.”

  
Niall patted his shoulder affectionately and then put an arm around his shoulder. “If that’s what you want, I’m behind you. Mate.”

  
“Pal.” Harry smiled. The bumped their fists.

==

Few days later Harry was knocking on Louis’ door. He could hear ruckus coming from inside, like something fell and then pained groan. He wondered if everything was alright. Then he heard the doorknob click and the door opened. A smiling Louis greeted him. His blue eyes sparkled under the artificial lighting and he had a brown stain on his Spiderman T-shirt. Harry was endeared. “Hi.”

  
“Hi. Um… Come in, come in.” Louis said and stepped back to let Harry in.

  
“I heard something crash earlier. Are you alright?” Harry asked, slipping off his boots and neatly putting them to the side.

  
Louis shook his head. “Oh, no no. It’s good, all’s good. A minor kitchen mistake. But nothing to worry.”

  
Harry looked worryingly at Louis who seemed a bit red in the face, as if he’d been stressing over a stove all day. “Are you sure?”

  
“Quite sure, dear Harold. I’m a proper chef.” He grinned. “Have an apron to prove it.”

  
Harry laughed but then gave Louis a once-over. “You’re not wearing any.”

  
“Ha, but have you ever seen proper chefs wearing any? Jamie Oliver doesn’t wear one.” Louis crossed his arms and looked at him playfully.

  
“That’s why he’s called the Naked Chef in the first place.” Harry explained with a smirk. “All the others wear it. Even Gordon Ramsey has one.”

  
Louis chuckled. “Nobody likes a know-it-all, Harold.”

  
Harry grinned widely. “I’m just saying how it is. I for one have and wear an apron, thank you very much.”

  
Louis quirked an eyebrow. “Really? Oh teach me your ways, Yoda.”

  
“Maybe, if you come to my place so I can cook.”

  
Louis’ face brightened.

  
“Or here since I smell something burning.” Harry deadpanned and Louis’ eyes bulged.

  
“Oh for Christ- no!” he yelled and pushed past Harry to run to the kitchen. Harry ran after him and laughed. He came to see Louis pulling a pot off the stove and a thick smoke filled the small kitchen. Harry opened a window and closed the door so it won’t spread to the apartment any more.

  
“Dinner ruined, Naked Chef?” Harry teased.

  
Louis sighed and looked at Harry with sad eyes.

  
“There it goes.” He motioned to the charred insides of the pot. “That was your dinner too, y’know. I was planning to share but you were being mean so I don’t know if you can have my takeout.”

  
Harry shook his head and grinned. “Sorry. I’ll be nice. What were you making, though?”

  
“Uhm…Spaghetti and sauce. The sauce burned. I was waiting for it to get done so I can start on the spaghetti but…”

  
“It’s fine. We can hang out with Penelope while the pizza comes.”

  
Louis nodded and led Harry to the living room where Penelope was lounging and watching Lady and the Tramp. Harry immediately snuggled next to her.

  
“Hey, darling.” He cooed and stroked her back. “What’re you watching there? Is that your favourite, hmmm?”

  
Louis cleared his throat from above him. He was sitting on the sofa, legs crossed and looking thoughtfully at Harry and Penelope who were sitting on the floor in front of TV. Louis’ coffee table was pushed underneath the window and the living room looked more spacious since Harry last saw it. He liked it.

  
“She likes the Incredible Journey better.” Louis quipped, with a nice mirth in his eyes.

  
“Oh, I like it too. But Bambi is my favourite.” Harry said and then glanced down at Penelope who was in the middle of cleaning her paws and face. Harry petted her soft belly.

  
“So, you’re going to give all your attention to my cat, Harold? I’m offended, I thought we were mates.” Louis pretended to pout and moved a bit away from Harry. Harry giggled and then sat next to Louis on the sofa.

  
“We are, Lou.” Harry said, leaning back and peering at Louis’ dramatics. “But I don’t talk that often to Freckles. She doesn’t have thumbs and texting is hard for cats.”

  
“First, it’s Penelope.” Louis glared at him, “respect her father giving her a proper cat name. And second, fine. I started to think you like her better than me.” He said and scooted closer to Harry on the sofa, keen on watching the movie. Harry opened his mouth to retort ‘I’ll always like you’ but that seemed too much and he put his attention to the movie while Louis dialled the pizza place.

 

Few hours later, when the two of them were full, an empty cardboard box sitting sadly on the floor and Penelope was somewhere doing whatever after a rather rough cuddle she received from Louis in a burst of jealousy when she paid more attention to Harry and his curls than him.

  
There was only Louis and Harry in the dimly lit living room with Johnny Depp parading as Jack Sparrow on TV screen and filling the silence with his wit. Louis yawned and leaned his head on Harry’s shoulder. It took Harry by surprise but he soon relaxed when Louis murmured if it was okay.

  
“Sure.” Harry answered. And then he put his arm around Louis’ shoulders. He wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly what this meant. Or at least had a firm suspicion.  
Harry only meant to stay for few hours and then go home, but Louis kept him occupied with his smile, questions and antics that it stretched well into the night. Louis was flirting with him openly, which Harry caught on soon enough. And he might’ve flirted back too, just because it was fun.

  
But now, sitting in the dark with Louis leaning on him, trusting him, it felt like such a deceit on his part. He didn’t want to seem like a tease or stringing Louis along with no further intentions. He had been told that several times too many in the past. He liked Louis and he wanted to be friends with him. But first, Harry wanted to establish trust and something solid before jumping into any relationship, be it friendship or romantic love. He just needed to be sure of himself and of Louis.

  
Quite unexpectedly it started to rain heavily and Louis insisted that Harry spent the night.

Harry lied down on the bed and stared at the blank wall opposite the window. The public lighting shone on the wall, forming three thin lines on the cracks of the blinds. Two of them were slowly approaching each other every time a car passed by and then there was a third one, far from the other two but unmoving. Harry wondered if it was some kind of metaphor for his life or just the current situation.

  
He noticed a shadow in the dark. He was startled at first but when the intruder jumped on his bed and looked at him intently he relaxed into the mattress.

  
“Hello, you.” He said and reached out to pet Penelope. Her eyes were big and black of her irises engulfed her natural golden colour in the night. She butted Harry’s hand. Then she curled next to his chest and purred while he stroked her.

  
“You know I like him, don’t you?”

  
Penelope swished with her tail.

  
“Hm. But you know I’m also scared. You can smell that, can’t you? I read somewhere that animals are more attuned to how people feel than people themselves are sometimes.”  
Penelope nuzzled his fingers when he stopped petting her.

  
“Sorry.” Harry burrowed his side into the pillow and looked down at the cat. “You could help me. You can be my wingman with your master. Or wing-cat. He listens to you, you got him wrapped around your finger- um paw.”

  
Penelope stood up to stretch her front paws and then she looked at Harry as if to say: “Get your shit together, human. I have my own business.” But her soft lick at his forearm told him: “I got your back, silly.” Penelope was a complicated cat.

  
Or Harry was just bad at reading her. He looked at her as she got more comfortable on the pillow next to him.

  
“Do cats have soul mates?” he felt rather silly asking a cat that, but he was wondering aloud. He got no answer. Right. Her species were notorious for one night stands and reckless sexual behaviour. Penguins and love birds have soul mates, maybe he should ask them.

  
Penelope seemed like an independent feline though. She would never be tied down and have babies even is she wanted to.

  
“Do you miss it?” he asked her again. “I mean, you can’t miss what you never had but at least you can say you had a choice. Now you don’t. It sucks a bit.” Penelope stretched her paw and touched Harry’s lips with her pillowy bottom. Harry giggled and pushed back. “Too philosophical for this time of night, huh? Yeah, yeah. I get it.”

  
He settled down and closed his eyes. “Goodnight, Freckles.”

  
He couldn’t fall asleep. Penelope was out in matter of minutes, but Harry was still fidgeting and looking at her chest rising and falling rhythmically, her whiskers twitching here and there.

  
He huffed pathetically. “I’m scared. It’s all fine and dandy talking about things but to be put on spot is frightening. And it’s been so long. I wouldn’t even know what to do. What to say. What if he laughs in my face when I tell him? Or he might be nice but soon he might be fed up with me. I tell far too many knock-knock jokes and I’m too polite for my own good. I’m so scared.” He pouted and then added: “Of him and everything else.”

 

The next day Harry woke up early, to the smell of scrambled eggs and toast. He found Louis standing in front of the stove and looking after the eggs in the pan, carefully poking them around. He looked sleepy and cuddly in his oversized grey jumper and black sweatpants with no socks. Harry looked at him long and hard before making his presence known.

  
When Louis smiled beatifically at him in the early morning sun it was hardly surprising that the next words stumbled out of Harry’s mouth.

  
“Will you go on a date with me, Louis?”

  
Louis nodded, a bit startled at the sudden question, but that was that.

==

They were walking slowly down the road after their dinner at the restaurant of Louis’ choice. They were talking about inane things, of this and that, touching upon some old dusty memories of childhood and wishes for the future. Louis was fired up after Harry breached the topic of music, and listed his top ten favourite musicians and bands along with his personal favourite songs of each. It wasn’t that different from Harry’s own taste, but he knew some of Louis’ taste. It’s hardly their first conversation about it, along with other topics.

  
But there was something they never discussed, not outright and in great detail. Louis has mentioned past boyfriends, if they were part of an anecdote or some funny event in the past, and Harry may have mentioned being once in a relationship but nothing else.

  
“Lou?”

  
Louis immediately stopped his rant about Robbie Williams and looked at Harry with a faint smile. “Harold.”

  
Harry bit his bottom lip nervously. “It’s been nice, yeah? The date?”

  
“Yeah.” Louis conceded. “It’s been nice. But I think I’d have fantastic time even if we stared at a wall for hours.”

  
Harry’s cheeks heated and he smiled appreciatively. “Uhm…”

  
“Hey, you look scared.” Louis stopped walking and turned to Harry, putting his hands on Harry’s biceps. “I promise I had wonderful time with you, Harry. Cross my heart.”

  
“I believe you. It’s not that.” Harry shook his head, hiding behind his long hair. “It’s-“

  
“What?”

  
Harry sighed. “I really like you, Louis.”

  
“I really like you too.” Louis smiled widely. “I was scared you might not be into me as I am into you, because I’ve been dropping hints so much lately, but you always seemed at a distance. Even when you flirted back.”

  
Harry’s stomach was churning at that. “That… I’m sorry.”

  
Louis’ fingers dug deeper into Harry’s skin. “No. Hey, it’s fine. We’re here, right? You wouldn’t ask me out if you hated my mug, yeah?”

  
Harry giggled. “You’re beautiful, Lou. And I don’t hate you.”

  
Louis’ hands moved the curtain of hair from Harry’s face and put it behind his ears so he could see him better. “Mhmm. And don’t you forget that when I kiss you.”

  
Harry knew his blush was visible from miles away and he wanted to kiss Louis, he really did. But before that, he just needed to tell him. He needed to know where they stand before he gets in too deep.

  
“Louis, I have to tell you something.”

  
Louis blinked. “Okay.”

  
“There’s something you don’t know about me. And it’s the reason I’ve been a bit distant. Even when I was flirting.”

  
“You’re not married, are you?” Louis interrupted and Harry rolled his eyes.

  
“No, Louis, just… Can you please listen before you make more outrageous suggestions? It’s important.”

  
He saw Louis’ face fall and his body stiffen. He looked worried and slightly sad. Harry hated the look on him.

  
“This will kind of make or break the start of anything we – you – might want to start with me and…”

  
“Harry, you’re scaring me.”

  
“Do you know what an asexual is?”

  
Louis nodded uncertainly. “Yeah. People who don’t like sex. Prudes.”

  
Harry pursed his lips. “It’s a bit complicated than that,” he argued. “And I wouldn’t call them prudes. That’s a bit mean. They just don’t feel sexually attracted to others, though they might want to be in relationships and kiss people. Some do have sex but they are indifferent toward it or compromise with their partner or-”

  
“Why are you telling me this?” Louis questioned, blinking at Harry with innocent and wondering eyes. He looked so beautiful under the moonlight.

  
“I-“ he gulped. “Because I’m one of them.”

  
“Asexual? You’re asexual?”

  
Harry nodded. “Yeah.”

  
“Oh.”

  
And then there was silence. It seemed to last for hours and deafened Harry’s ears. He saw Louis slowly stepping back, probably giving himself and Harry some space but Harry saw it as a sign of retreat, removing himself from whatever might have been. So Harry needed to explain.

  
“I mean, asexuality means different to different people. And lifestyles are different. But the common factor is that they don’t feel sexually attracted but…uhm… for me, I never had sex. Nor I want to. Ever. But I like people, and I like kissing and cuddling. And maybe some heavy make-out with no clothes but…no sex.”

  
Louis looked at him after a long time. “Uhm… I don’t know what to say.”

  
“You don’t have to say anything… I really like you and I thought you should know if… if you want –wanted- to be with me.”

  
“Of course I want to.” Louis reached for Harry’s hand. “You’re amazing and funny. And you have the best hair.”

  
“But…”

  
“I won’t say you didn’t surprise me massively, because you did. And I’m not quite sure how your sexuality or mine for that matter might affect the relationship, but I’d like to try. It’ll just be different than average.”

  
Harry smiled widely and enveloped Louis in a big hug.

  
“Is that okay?” Louis said in a muffled voice, his face buried in the crook of Harry’s neck.

  
“I’ll take it.”

  
Louis leaned back and touched Harry’s cheek. “Good. Now kiss me.”

  
Harry leaned down happily and connected their lips.

==

The TV was maniacally switching channels and the volume was set on the highest. Harry was battling with some new recipe he was trying out for the dinner and couldn’t get to it himself.

  
“Louis! Freckles sat on the remote again!” he yelled towards the living room before returning to the sauce which was giving him hard time. It was so bland and Harry didn’t know how to make it better.

  
“I’ll get her!” he heard Louis screaming back. A second later everything was quiet, only a faint cooing noise and baby talk could be heard from the paper-thin walls of Louis’ apartment.

  
“Who’s my girl? You’re being naughty again and demanding attention, babe?”

  
Harry smiled to himself and stirred the sodden sauce again, mixing paprika into it. Louis was still so whipped by Penelope. After being together for three months, Harry learned just how much. Leaving the door to his bedroom open when they went to sleep (“in case Penelope might be lonely or in danger”), putting her in his lap even when Harry was in the middle of snogging his face off. Or the sad eyes every time they went out and had to leave her for few hours.

  
Harry would admit he was jealous. If he weren’t whipped too. He was eyeing the T-bone in the sink which was close to being completely defrosted and soon the better parts would be Penelope’s dinner. Harry is trying to cut back on red meat and fats, but who is to say dear Penelope might not like it?

  
The woes of being a cat person.

  
He tried the sauce once more, the taste being slightly better, and then added more paprika. He heard bare feet on the tiles and then a pair of arms circling around his waist.  
“Smells nice. What’re you making?” Louis asked inhaling exaggeratedly.

  
Harry turned in his arms, carrying a spoon and then lifted it to his mouth. “Taste this. Is it still bland?”

  
Louis curled his tongue and licked some of it off the wooden spoon. His eyes widened and he rushed to the sink to get his head under the tap.

  
“What? Is it that bad?” Harry exclaimed and looked at distressed Louis whose face was half wet. He gurgled water in his mouth and then spat it in the sink, over the T-bone.

  
“What did you put in the sauce? Fire? It’s so hot!” Louis said, keeping his mouth open and wiping his eyes. Harry looked at him sadly.

  
“But when I tried it was bland. I-I don’t understand.”

  
“Are you coming down with a cold? Stuffy nose?” Louis put a hand over Harry’s forehead and looked at his face.

  
Harry shook his head. “I had a bit of an allergy reaction when I cleaned the shelves in the bedroom but nothing serious. My nose is a bit stuffy.”

  
Louis gave him an unimpressed look. “You’re trying to cook with a stuffy nose? Spicy food, no less.”

  
“It was for you!” Harry defended. “I was just trying out a new recipe and…”

  
“And pizza it is.” Louis supplied with a grin on his face.

  
Harry slumped against him. “Alright.” He turned off the stove and let the dodgy sauce cool off before he threw it out.

  
Louis dragged him into the living room and pushed him on the sofa next to Penelope who was cleaning he fur. Harry cuddled next to her right away. Louis put on a romantic comedy with Kate Hudson and sat in Harry’s lap, leaning his head on his shoulder. Harry put a blanket over their laps and Penelope seized the opportunity to jump on it, curling herself into a fluffy ball, ready to fall asleep.

  
Harry was feeling warm from inside and out, having a nice evening with two of his favourite beings on the planet. He felt so so lucky. And content.

  
It was a start.

 

==


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to visit these characters once again. This is my safe place. And Penelope, gotta love that cat.   
> I've never been to Brighton so any local people reading this, please forgive me.

Louis was walking down a beach. It was completely deserted and clean. But there was a danger in the air. The sea and the sky seemed to catch it as well, because the sea was slowly turning grey and rising waves crashed against the shore. Black clouds were gathering quickly in the sky and storm was imminent.

Louis had to find her before it was too late.

“Penelope!” he yelled into the air, frantically looking around. He could barely feel the sand under his bare feet. “Penelope!”

He kept running down the endless beach, looking for the familiar golden eyes and brown head. Where was she?

“Penelope!” he called but his voice was drowned out by the stormy sea and wind whipping everything in its way. “Penelope!”

Harry watched him from the sideline, watched him run down the beach and yell. He couldn’t reach him, he couldn’t move. He could see and feel everything, but it was as if his body was numb and his spirit dead. He couldn’t even yell after Louis to come back. To turn around.

He saw Louis’ hair getting messed up by the wind and face growing paler and paler when he couldn’t find Penelope. Louis was still running and then he was swallowed up by the darkness, his voice becoming one with the wind.

“Louis!” he yelled and opened his eyes.

He was sitting upright in his bed in the semi-darkness of the October morning and panting as if he ran a marathon. He wailed silently and buried his face in his hands. _Another nightmare_. _Fucking Christ_.

“Harry?” a sleepy voice called from beside him. He felt a small hand on his back. “Are you alright?”

Harry took a deep breath and scrubbed his hands down is face. “Yeah. It’ll be alright.”

Louis sat up too and leaned his head against his. “Another nightmare?”

Harry’s smile was strained. “It’ll be alright.” He kissed Louis’ forehead and lied down to catch the last few hours of sleep before he had to go to his first class. Louis cuddled against him, curling an arm around his middle and blinking at him worriedly with his head perched on Harry’s chest.

“I’m worried about you, love.” Louis whispered, intruding the fragile quietness of the morning with his gruff voice. “This is the third time this week alone. Maybe you should go see a doctor.”

Harry shook his head and closed his eyes to will himself to sleep fine this time. “No, I’m fine. I’m just stressed. It’ll be fine, Lou. I promise.”

“Okay.” Louis said and kissed his collarbone affectionately. “We’ll talk about it later.”

Louis fell back to sleep but Harry was still awake, blinking through the haze. He wasn’t sure why he was suddenly having these nightmares, but they were always of Louis and Penelope, and Harry being unable to help them in some way. Either they went missing or Harry was trapped and couldn’t reach them, and it was scaring him more and more. Because it was his biggest fear after all.

He and Louis were finally settled, have been for the past month since Louis moved in with him in his apartment. Penelope came with him as well and seemed happy to be in another familiar place. They were going to celebrate their nine month anniversary next week and Harry couldn’t be happier.

He was in his final year at university and things were a bit hectic from the very start but that was expected. He was already told to look into employment and postgraduate programs to build a stable and reliable future and it might have been getting to him already.

Louis got his veterinary degree and started working as an apprentice in his old veterinary ambulance where they first met. He was happy with it, gaining lots of experience for starting his own clinic-and-animal-shelter one day, although the pay wasn’t much. But they lived modestly and didn’t need to worry about finances much, with Harry’s family helping out whenever they could and Louis’ mum pitching in every so often.

Everything was good, apart from university stress (but that was expected and normal) so why was he having nightmares about losing Louis and Penelope? What was hiding in his subconscious?

Harry kissed the top of Louis sleeping head and closed his eyes, willing his brain to give him happy things during sleep.

 

==

 

Harry was deeply engrossed in his book when Louis came home one day. He heard his squeaky steps on the hardwood floors and looked up. Louis had a beaming smile on his face when their eyes met.

“Hi, baby.” He greeted him.

“Hi, Lou.” Harry said and pecked his lips before turning back to his book. Louis went down the hall towards the kitchen. “How was work?”

“Good!” Louis’ voice was muffled coming from the other end of the flat. Harry could only faintly hear him rummage through something. “Mrs Nicholls brought her St Bernard today, y’know, Charlie? Anyway, the dog was a menace when we tried to give him his shots. Worse than a two year-old, I swear.” He said and Harry hummed. His eyes caught the next entry in his book. He could still hear Louis walking up and down and opening things. He was too engrossed in what he was reading to pay him any attention. This semester Harry had a course on 19th century art, with a special focus on the end of the century and impressionism. He was taking a head-start and started to read ahead, to familiarise himself with the subject. He already knew something about the period and the artists but not enough to fully grasp the problems they dealt with in art. He figured a small encyclopaedia would provide him with enough to not be completely clueless in class.

What caught his eye was the entry about cafés and their significance in the art and social climate of the day. He wondered if any of them actually existed today and what they would be like at the time. Dingy, smelly and crowded places with people shouting all around in black or fading suits, talking about art and philosophy as they held tight to their drink of choice. _Café Guerbois_ , _Nouvelles-Athènes_ … few among the many.  Then he skipped to the entry about _Batignolles_ , area popular with artists and frequently painted. Apparently, Manet had a studio there.

His heart always skipped a beat when he was reading about Art History. There wasn’t a period he didn’t like, he could find fascinating things in each one, could see connections between styles dating few hundred years between each other.

Sometimes his dad would jab with a comment, subtly asking about job opportunities and how nobody goes to art museums anymore. ( _He meant_ _well_ , Harry comforted himself, just looking out for him). It made Harry reconsider from time to time why he even started with this degree. But as he looked at a reproduction of Monet’s _The Seine at Bougival_ he felt that warm feeling that told him it wasn’t a mistake.

When Louis finally emerged back in the living room he was in full football kit and carrying a ball. He coughed to get Harry’s attention and Harry’s eyebrows were scrunched in confusion.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked amusedly and bookmarked the pages with a finger. He looked at Louis from head to toe.

“Ice fishing.” Louis dead panned, and rolled his eyes for full effect. “Football, Hazza!” he yelled and threw the ball at Harry. He squealed and the impact sent him off the sofa and Harry landed on the floor, sprawled like a wounded giraffe.

Louis laughed and sat on Harry’s thighs. “Come on, lazy bum. You’ve had your nose stuck in books for weeks. One more hour and your brain will asphyxiate from lack of fresh air.”

Harry grunted and pushed the football away from him. “It’s not like there’s no air inside, Louis.” He pouted and crossed his arms on his chest petulantly.

“Okay, Mr Grumps.” Louis grinned and stretched on Harry’s torso. “You’re coming with me, like it or not.”

“No.”

Louis batted with his eyelashes cutely. “Please? I’ll wash your hair after we get home, give you nice and long massage, kiss you until your lips fall off…”

Harry’s frown slowly turned into a smile as he stared at Louis. He was so gone for him. He was already planning on going but he wanted to mess with Louis’ little more.

“You hit me with a football, Louis.” Harry said quietly, pretending he’s deeply emotionally hurt. “I don’t know if I can live with an abuser anymore.”

Now Louis’ patience was growing really thin. He started to whine. “Come on, Harry! Let’s go! I even said please!”

Harry started to giggle and then pushed Louis off him. “Okay, okay. I’ll go get my kit on.”

When they left the flat few minutes later, Harry didn’t notice that his book wasn’t where he left it.

 

==

 

“What do you say we go on a vacation?”

It was early November and rain was soaking the greater London area for few days, the days getting drastically colder and trees lost all of their leaves. It was the perfect cuddling weather and that was how Harry and Louis were spending their free Saturday. They had an exhausting week – Harry had essays and reports to do, and Louis had double shifts at the vets because a colleague was sick. They were buried under a mountain of blankets and pillows, watching a rom-com marathon. _You’ve Got Mail_ was ten minutes in when Louis popped the question.

Harry looked up from where he was resting on Louis’ shoulder. Louis was watching the movie but a small smile on his face told Harry he wasn’t really paying attention.

“A vacation?”

“Yeah. It’d be nice to go somewhere new. Just you, me and Penelope. What do you say?”

Harry shrugged. He didn’t where this vacation stuff sprung out of, because just a minute ago Louis was commenting how the movie is the most 90s technology thing, because if it was filmed today there was no way Meg Ryan wouldn’t know who she was emailing. She wouldn’t even use e-mail or instant messaging, she’d be on Instagram or Facebook.

“I don’t know. Where’d we go?”

Louis buried his nose in Harry’s hair and breathed deeply. “I can’t very well take you to France, can I? I was thinking beach, like in Brighton or wherever. Whatever you’d like.”

Harry’s first thought was the nightmares he had, which to be honest were less frequent but they were always the same. And always on a beach.

Louis felt Harry stiffening in his arms but he merely hugged him closer and wrapped his other arm around Harry’s middle. “Hey, hey. It’s alright. We can just go to Hyde Park if you want.” He kissed Harry’s forehead. “Are you alright, babe?”

Harry nodded and burrowed his face in the crook of Louis’ neck, smelling soft cinnamon body wash and cookies they ate. “I’m good.” His voice was muffled. “But why vacation, why now?”

“I just wanted to do something nice. We’ve been locked in here for so long, going from work to home, from classes to home. I want to take you somewhere nice.” Louis almost whispered, sensing the fragility of Harry’s emotions and the mood in the room. There was a soft thud somewhere in the apartment and then Penelope’s brown head peeked inside the bedroom. She walked leisurely towards the bed and jumped on it. She looked at the scene Harry and Louis made, all wrapped up in each other under blankets and pillows. She crooked her small head and carefully stepped closer to them. Louis reached out a hand to pet her but she licked it and then dodged it to curl in Harry’s lap. The cat wanted to comfort Harry in whatever he was feeling. Harry disentangled from Louis to look at the animal in his lap and gently stroked her. He lied back, with his head turned to Louis. Louis was sitting up, leaning on the headboard and gently touching Harry’s forearm.

“Do you not want to go?” Louis inquired carefully. It seemed to him Harry was upset for whatever reason. Harry couldn’t tell him, not because he didn’t trust him, but he didn’t want to talk about his nightmares and what they mean. He could also see that Louis really wanted to go to the beach, even if he was a bit off-handish with how he said it.

“No, it’s not that.” He smiled reassuringly, “It’s November, Lou. We can’t really swim right now and it’s probably going to rain for weeks.”

“Think of it as an adventure, Haz.” Louis grinned. “Brighton beaches offer a lot more than just swimming and sunbathing. It’ll also be less crowded.”

“You mean, nobody but us will be there.”

Louis’ eyes widened and he cupped Harry’s cheek. “Is that a yes?”

Harry nodded. “Of course, Lou. Just tell me when and where.”

 

The _where_ was decided on immediately – Brighton. The _when_ was a bit trickier to organise. It indeed rained for another week but the forecast predicted a cloudy but relatively sunny weekend in the middle of November, so Harry, Louis and Penelope packed their things and went on a first train to Brighton. They planned a day trip to the beach, mostly because they couldn’t afford a nice hotel which allowed pets and Louis had work the next day.

It didn’t matter, Harry thought, a bit of adventure and changing the scenery could only be beneficial.

The train dragged through the countryside; trees blurring together and plains were colourless slabs on the canvas seen through the window. Harry felt cozy and warm sitting next to Louis in their empty compartment, Penelope in her carry bag blinking lazily under the dull artificial lighting. Louis leaned over Harry to point at a thing or two, mostly lost deer who wandered too close to the train tracks. Harry stole a kiss or two, just because he could, and because it made Louis’ face crinkle adorably. 

When they finally arrived, it was a quick walk from the station to the beach. The promenade saw more seagulls than people; the birds were flying around aimlessly, swooping over unsuspecting victims and tearing trash apart. Cheerful music from pubs and restaurants was inviting and cast happy glow in otherwise gloomy surroundings. Harry imagined it being more lively and colourful in the spring and summer. It was like one of those low saturated filters on photo apps. The grey clouds looming over them didn’t help either. 

“So much for a sunny weekend.” Louis commented, reading Harry’s mind.

Penelope meowed impatiently in her bag and Louis chastised her. They hurried down the street, taking careful first steps on the pebbly beach. Harry breathed deeply when he faced the sea. Air was salty and slight cold breeze played with his hair and coat. It felt like they were at the edge of the world.

Louis put Penelope’s bag down and then let her out. The cat took careful steps and looked around, moving her whiskers nervously. After thoroughly soaking in the new environment the cat simply sat down and looked at her masters.

Harry and Louis laughed and then the fun began.

For the next two hours they explored every bit of the beach, racing on the Pier, throwing rocks in the sea and chasing each other on the bumpy shoreline. Harry was taking pictures of everything.

Louis unwrapped a sandwich at one point - they were leaning against the wooden railing on the Pier and talking (Harry also taking pictures of the blackening sky and wavy sea). For a split second his attention was on artistic shot of the end of the Pier Harry took that he didn’t even notice an angry looking seagull flying towards them. His hand was slightly outstretched, moved to the side so he didn’t get any mayonnaise on his coat. The next moment it was empty.

“Hey!” Louis yelled after the thieving bird which flew away from them at the speed of light. “You flying bugger! That was my sandwich!”

Harry couldn’t stop laughing and seeing Louis’ furious face only made him a giggling mess on the floor. Louis started to laugh too and joined Harry on the floor.

A while later, Louis stole Harry’s camera, flailing with it and pretended to be a fashion photographer, uttering things like ‘yeah babe give me the pout’, ‘now get angry’, ‘camera loves you, babe’. When he kneeled down to get one from the lower perspective, he felt something climb on his back. It meowed.

“Aww, Penelope!” exclaimed Harry and clapped. Penelope was perched on Louis’ shoulders and looked down at her master who was tittering to himself, trying not to dislodge her.

“Give me the camera, Lou. I’ll take a picture.” Harry said and giggled when Penelope got too comfortable and started to knead the muscles on Louis’ upper back.

“Penny, babe, please no claws. Please! Ow!” Louis squealed when he felt a sharp sting which sent him upwards, and Penelope falling off him. The way she looked at him after could only be described as outrage.

Harry helped their emotionally bruised cat in her bag and they carried on window shopping down the promenade.

They shared a take out coffee in front of the Aquarium and sat on the bench, wrapped around each other. The night fell down quickly and with it temperatures too.

“I wish we had a car.” Louis confessed, squeezing his arm around Harry. Harry hummed. “Then we could go on road trips together all the time. Going anywhere we’d like. Squeezing together in cramped space when it got cold like this.”

Harry nuzzled against Louis’ jaw. “Hmm… cars have heating though. Wouldn’t need your body to keep me warm, Lou.”

Louis clicked with his tongue. “You think a machine could keep you warm? Warmer than me? The love of your life?” His voice got exaggeratedly squeaky.

Harry giggled. “Probably. You’re always cold, babe. Cold feet, cold hands.”

“But warm heart.”

Harry smiled. “The warmest.” He looked up, his gaze seeking the soft blue. “The kindest.”

Louis smiled dopily at him. He kissed his cheek.

Then rain poured down.

 

==

 

They were giggling when they entered their apartment late in the evening.

Harry quickly opened Penelope’s bag to let her out. The cat jumped out of it and searched for a warm and dry spot. She was obviously annoyed because her bag was soaked by the rain that caught them in Brighton and then again in London. She was swishing her tail agitatedly and left wet paw prints in her way.

Harry made a mental note to clean that later but first he had to get rid of his cold and soaking clothes. Louis disappeared somewhere in the flat, probably already making tea. Harry put away their stuff, putting his clothes in the hamper in the bathroom.

“Louis, did you change clothes? Can you please put them in the hamper so I can wash them later?”

Harry listened for a reply or a sign where Louis might be, but everything was quiet. “Louis?” He paced through the living room to the kitchen.

He saw him leaned on the sofa, looking at the blank wall Harry always intended to fill with pictures or something, but never got the chance. He had a soft smile on his face.

“Lou?” Harry turned to see what was so fascinating and- oh.

Oh.

The wall wasn’t blank anymore.

It was filled with numerous pictures the size of playing cards. They were shaped in a cat silhouette, the softer ones slowly blending into more colourful ones. They were neatly printed on a paper, the edges smooth and carefully taped on the wall. When Harry stepped closer he recognised few of them. Hell, he was looking at them in his own textbook few days ago.

“Lou?” he turned to Louis for an explanation. Louis was only looking at him softly, picking his nails.

“Liam did this. I asked him to come here while we were in Brighton and put this up. You had this wall blank for so long, babe. I noticed how much you love what you study but you don’t have any prints on the walls. And it’s a shame really. I- I wanted to do something nice.” He bit his lip nervously, as if Harry might hate what he’d done in secret. “I can’t very well take you to Louvre or Florence or any fancy artsy place like that. So I thought I’d bring the art to you.”

Harry’s eyes swelled with tears. Happy tears. He loved this man in front of him so much. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. That someone cared for him and supported him, even with something that might make him unemployable for decades (his dad’s voice made an appearance).

“Haz, do you like it? I could put it down if you hate it, I-“

“Shut up, you idiot.” Harry choked through the onslaught of tears. He jumped to hug Louis, to squeeze the daylights out of him. He was so happy. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist and sighed with relief.

“Good. You really like it?”

Harry nodded against Louis’ neck. “It’s so great, Lou. Where did you get the pictures? I mean, how did you know which ones to print?”

“I was stealing your textbooks.” Louis chuckled. “It was the only fool-proof thing I had which paintings you liked or at least saw. And the rest was up to Liam’s creativity.”

“And the cat shape?” Harry asked leaning back to look at Louis. “Was that your idea too?”

Louis shrugged. “You like cats. That’s actually Penelope’s silhouette. If you were wondering.”

Harry grinned. “You’re so wonderful.”

 

Harry was woked up by a violent cough. Body that was holding him tight was trashing and a voice was producing wheezing and choked off sounds. He turned around carefully and pushed Louis’ hair from his face.

Louis hummed and smiled wanly. “Sorry I woke you up, Haz.”

Harry stroked Louis’ stubbled jaw with his thumb. “Hey, baby. It’s alright. Did the day tip to Brighton wear you down?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “Bloody South. Nothing good ever came from around here.” He wheezed in the dry and stuffy air of their bedroom.

Harry chuckled. “I see the fever kicked in too.”

Louis whined pitifully and coughed once again. Harry winced at how Louis was taking the illness and then got up to make him tea. It was done with quickly and then he joined him back in bed.

“Ugh. Haz, you should kick me out before you get sick too.”

Harry shook his head, helping him with the cup so he didn’t spill any on the duvet. “I’ll be fine. I’m accustomed to the Southern germs.” He smiled smugly and stroked Louis’ hair as he drank his tea.

It was quiet for a while, Louis sipping his tea and Harry watching him and taking care of him simultaneously. Harry thought about the trip to Brighton two days earlier and then the Penelope mural filled with most of his favourite paintings from all periods in their living room. His thoughts then switched to his nightmares and the symbolism of the deserted beach. The beach in Brighton was deserted too and nobody got lost when they were there. Instead, it was the happiest Harry ever was. Surrounded by his favourite person and pet, laughing and spending time together. There was nothing else like it.

And then he realised.

“Hey, Lou?”

Louis glanced up and put his cup aside. “Yeah, Haz?” The tea made his voice less rough and worn-out.

“You know the nightmares I have? I don’t have them so many these few weeks, but I used to.”

Louis nodded, curling an arm around Harry’s waist.

“Well…  I never told you what they were about, so… They-they’re usually about you.”

“About me?”

Harry nodded. “About you and Penelope. You’re walking down the beach and I see you but I can’t get to you. And you usually disappear. And there’s a storm and wild sea too.”

“What does that mean?”

Harry shrugged. “I didn’t know. I didn’t tell you because they’re not like… I know people have much worse dreams and traumas and compared my nightmares seem silly so-“

“Hey, don’t invalidate what you feel or dream about. They’re your fears and there’s probably a reason you dream about that. What is it, love? Are you scared I might leave?”

“No, no.” Harry snuggled closer to Louis. “Well, I think for a long time I was a bit scared you might. That you’d get bored of me and… _our relationship_ …”

“What?”

“Let me finish, love.” Harry kissed Louis’ cheek. “It was a justified fear. We’re not exactly an average couple, are we? We don’t _do_ things other people do.”

Louis quickly sat up in bed. “Harry, I told you I don’t care about sex. We do plenty of other things together.”

Harry sat up too in alarm, raising his hands in calming gesture. “Lou, stop. I don’t want to fight. It was just something I was thinking. I don’t anymore.” Harry sighed. “It made me realise - the nightmares and the trip to Brighton - that it was all useless. The fears and doubts. Seeing that mural… I realised that you’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m not.” Louis’ eyes glinted in the dark.

Harry smiled. “I know. And I love you.”

Louis’ smile faltered. It was the first time Harry said it. But he quickly recovered with a beaming smile. “You do?”

Harry nodded. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Louis interrupted the romantic moment with another cough fit. Harry patted his back soothingly and gestured to him to lie down. Louis sighed when Harry pulled the duvet over his body and they both settled into the warmth.

“You make me so happy, Lou.” Harry confessed looking into his eyes. Louis smiled.

“You too.” Louis mumbled sleepily. “Now get to sleep, Haz. You need to take care of mw tomorrow.”

Harry hummed in agreement and kissed Louis’ forehead. “I do.”

Then they both fell asleep while being watched by Penelope in the corner of their room.

 

 

 

 

==

 

 

 


End file.
